Recently a good friend of mine confided she had been seriously struggling with getting back into the dating pool because she felt flawed and unworthy of love. Not aesthetically flawed, but after having to pivot and reestablish her footing in life, her career and finances were not in the best shape. She admitted to feeling paralyzed with shame that she didn’t have it all together, and that it had been easier for her to just hide. In that moment she realized she had been chasing The Checklist and destroying her sense of self-worth in the process.
It never occurred to her that she is deserving of love, regardless of the Life Stage she’s in.
This realization was a real A-HA Moment she needed to sit with!
I began to wonder how many other Black women feel like they need to qualify for love, like they’re applying for a job or something. Where do these beliefs stem from, and are these beliefs contributing to the Single Black Female statistics?
What are some of the most absurd criteria you believed you needed to meet to be considered a ‘great catch’? Check out the Love Resume on the cover of the June Issue of Bougie Boundaries Magazine and let us know your thoughts. While the categories and questions are not ALL outlandish, none of them speak to the actual character of the person, and checking off all the boxes does not guarantee a successful relationship!
Have you been disqualifying yourself from love because you have areas of your life you need to work on? The Homework Assignment in the latest issue of Bougie Boundaries is designed to help you reframe your thoughts and pump the brakes on The Checklist chase!