This Thing called Self Love


Seeing the post in the bloggers group about 28 days of Self Love was exciting.  Oh yeah! I love me!  Definitely include me in a fun, creative way to let the world know how much I have learned to love me and how they should learn to do the same.

I had no clue what I was getting myself into.  I had no clue what I had committed too until after I did the assignment for Day One. Day one…was pretty interesting.  Coloring, drawing, reflecting, intentionally making time for myself, journaling.  Who has time for that?  I am a mom. I’m a therapist. Kids color, clients process their thoughts in sessions.  Moms don’t color? Right?….not for themselves intentionally.  Right?  But I accepted the challenge and now I look forward to my daily appointment with myself.

Reflecting about when I prepared to the do the assignment of the Mirror Technique I’m am obligated to say that I got little anxious.  Should I put on a bra, should I put on some workout clothes that give my body a little more firm form, should I sit, should I stand, how long do I look at myself, exactly what am I supposed to say to myself again?  So, I take a minute, read the task again, let it soak in my spirit, take a few deep breaths and decide to commit to the awkwardness to talking to myself in the mirror. 

The more I sat, the more I attempted to look myself in both eyes at the same time, the more I decided that I really do love myself, the more I read over what the assignment suggested I discuss with myself……..the longer I wanted to sit and talk with me.  I was starting to get comfortable. 

For some reason, it seemed easier since it was an “assigned task” as opposed to me deciding on my own to go to the closet, sit in the mirror and talk to me.  That would be “crazy right.”

The part of the conversation that helped me changed my perspective about my body was when Cheryl suggested I not allow myself to acknowledge any negatives about me and to thank my body for how far it has brought me.  As I looked over my body, touched my skin, ran my fingers through my hair and over my acned face…..I felt grateful.  I felt a sense of accomplishment physically for where I am, where my body has been and how it has held up pretty fabulously.  Even in the midst of me beating my body up for all it hasn’t been and all that it isn’t yet, my body still allowed me to depend on it unconditionally.

Now at night or in the morning if I happen to fall asleep while journaling, I get excited to tell my body and my mind what I love about it that day.  I am now on the lookout for things to compliment myself the same way a toddler does a possible new friend.  I like your eyes.  I like your teeth.  I like your smooth skin.  I like how soft your skin feels.  I like the silkiness of your hair.  I love your thought process Montoyia.  It’s kinda out of the box but so unique that some just ponder “where in your brain that that come from.”  Montoyia, you can depend on me unconditionally Montoyia.  Montoyia, I will be here for you no matter what.  Montoyia I will be there for you in good times and bad because you are important to me.  Montoyia, if your name was on a ballot I would always vote for you without a doubt.

This 28 Day journey is uncomfortable and yet very comforting.  I thought this thing called self love was easy peasy.  It’s not, but it is so worth it.  The benefits far outweigh the risks.


My prayer is that others who read this blog find the confidence in themselves to try something this month to help foster a concern for themselves that could never be replaced by anyone other than a newer version of them. You always have the option to be your own Valentine.

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Montoyia McGowan, LCSW
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